I am Chris Miller, former Party Fowl, and this is How I Turkey Harder

·       Name: Chris Miller, MD

·       Location: Barnes Jewish Hospital, St. Louis Missouri

·       Current job(s): PGY-2, Emergency Medicine, Washington University in St. Louis

·       One word that best describes how you eat: Furiously

·       Current turkey style: Sara Lee, Honey Roasted, 2mm cuts

WHAT’S YOUR CURRENT SANDWICH SETUP?

I like to keep it simple.  I am very old-school when it comes to that.  On most occasions I find myself eating the sandwich as it was originally packaged.  On occasion, if I’m feeling spontaneous, you will catch me mixing it up a little bit (open face, fork & knife, double decker).

WHAT’S YOUR BEST TIME-SAVING TURKEY TIP?

Nail down your microwave times.  I can’t tell you how many times I see nurses, techs and even our own interns wasting too much time at the microwave.  It’s either still cold or scorching hot.  Some rookies will even remove the plastic wrap. 

Here’s a pro tip:

1.     Place sandwich on a paper towel (keep in plastic wrap)

2.     Microwave for 27 seconds

3.     Remove plastic wrap

4.     Add condiments & enjoy

WHAT’S YOUR BEST TIP REGARDING MEAT MANAGEMENT?

Not all sandwiches are created equal.  Most of the time you can spot the differences as you squat in front of the fridge making your selection.  Some sandwiches, I call them “the chosen ones,” seem to have more meat.  Select these at the beginning to save yourself some time and disappointment later.

Supplement your turkey with other healthy alternatives like reconstituted grape juice and pre-scored graham crackers.  If you are looking for extra protein consider dipping in peanut butter.

MAYONNAISE: LIGHT OR ORIGINAL?

I realize this is controversial.  I have even heard of people using mustard instead, but that goes against everything I stand for.  This question often depends on departmental availability.  Original mayonnaise tends to be more popular with the patients.  I often find myself reaching for the Light Hellmann’s.  It packs fewer calories, but still provides that powerful, smooth, creamy texture we all crave in a condiment.

WHAT’S THE BEST ADVICE YOU’VE EVER RECEIVED ABOUT EATING ED TURKEY?

I was nearly a full two years into my residency before I received a game-changing piece of advice.  Sam Smith, PGY-3 (The Czar of ED Turkey) told me that for nearly a year he had been doubling up on his meat.  Rather than wasting time to select the ideal sandwich at the fridge, simply grab any two sandwiches, unwrap, steal meat from one and apply to the other.  Then rewrap and microwave like nothing happened.  What to do with the extra bread is your call.  Double decker vs throwing away are two popular options.

Turkey brings people together and we should embrace that.  I think the former president said it best:

“I have no desire to crow over anybody or to see anybody eating crow, figuratively or otherwise.  We should all get together and make a country in which everybody can eat turkey whenever he pleases.”

                                                                                                       Harry S. Truman, 33^rd President of the USA

WHO WOULD YOU LOVE FOR US TO TRACK DOWN TO ANSWER THESE SAME QUESTIONS?

1.     Sam Smith, MD PGY-3

2.     Chris Holthaus, MD Attending

3.     Emily Garibay, RN